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she used him
returned him after 30 days

i told him
she might want to try him
before she was to buy him

he covered his ears
wiped tears from his eyes

i glanced towards his love
it looked back fleetingly

i knew his heart was
blind to her stare

he became expendable
an emotional write off
she was no longer hungry

leonard may have had a point,
love might just be learning
how to shoot someone
who outdrew you

i turned my back
walked away

i told him
if i were him


i'd go down burning in her embrace

i'm swimming in my gene pool right now. we're a tight package. genes in a tight package= family crammed into the basement during christmas.

my gene pool has compounded to include blood that does not include my own. blood in blood out. ha. that is how families work nowadays. soon it will become the 12 houses of christmas - spreading ourselves out over multiple families.

there are positive aspects to everything.

kissing is a fermata in a symphony of matter. [a messy one on time and love]

time does make our entire universe non-deterministic. if time were to freeze, everything in the universe would become deterministic, known, predictable and traceable. why we would want this? we wouldn't. time is a fashion designer that continually changes her mind in intervals of time that are so indivisibly small that we will never be able to see them. she tailors a fine seam of reality that is dozens of octaves beyond the threshold of human perception. the fact that the human brain is a storage medium further increases the complexity of time by assigning it a past and future.

lovers are people you run closest with in the field of time. you don't dare let go of them. they run faster, you catch them. you fall behind, they catch you. you play with them creating cosmic vibrations. like a waveform, we find our unisons - our kindred frequency's in which to create harmony. we find mates who resonate at the same intervals as we do. love, like physics, is an act of pushing and pulling to create melodies that can sustain a lifetime. kissing is a fermata. time could be the stage for a symphony of matter that we call life. we are billions of notes in constant dissonance and consonance with one another.

I see reality as a giant membrane in which all within are interdependent with one another on the principle of vibrating frequency's. our consciousness's are intertwined with these frequencies and are antenna's for receiving and transmitting signals that we label thought and emotion. what is inviting about this perspective is it is not dependent on an observer. frequency is everywhere. the light and color you see, the music you listen to, the heat that cooks your food, the function of your digestive tract, all the way to the slow rising and falling of the sun and moon that we call a complete day.

time is not insensitive. it shows its love during comfortable useful coincidence. it shows its disregard when you are half an hour away from a destination you were supposed to be at two hours ago. time cradles the human will. like an enemy, we keep a close watch on time. that's why we wear it so closely on our wrists, walls, phones, televisions and buildings. not in our hearts.

i) it would be interesting to see a theory that would unify all of the human senses to frequency one day. for example, we know that hearing and vision operate on principle of frequency. taste and smell have only recently entered the realm of study due to the increase in research in the field of quantum mechanics. if we do find they operate on frequency..wouldn't that be fun?

ii) true harmony has only existed in conjunction with the human mind insofar. it's difficult to know for sure what stands as true or real beyond what we perceive. it seems as though throughout human history that we have acted in parallel to the natural world. war and peace. chaos and calm.

iii) life is just a series of on's and off's. binary is our way of proving this.

cosmic euthanasia.

last
night

I woke myself up
to dream.

I was
dizzy

I stepped outside
of the Roundabout

we call life
where we tend
to walk in circular motions

I felt
stillness.

behind the eye holes
in a witch doctors face ,
I saw a starry universe

peeked at the existence
we orbit around

like a divine machine

I was God's
defibrillator

i withdrew support.

as I watched God
draw his final breath

I wondered if humanity
would also

awaken
to a new dream

where
we wouldn't
find the need for

self transcendence.

sonic kiss. [the heart as a universal interpreter]

in a room
with a wooden floor, piano
and finely crafted dining table

you shine
in afternoon
sunlight

your voice fills
the air
with spanish poetry

my ears crave
to hear the meaning
veiled behind the words

as the words pluck my heartstrings--
a universal interpreter,

they create a cadence
of understanding

whilst
dancing around my soul

I then broadcast them back into the air
in a tonal dialect

released from my fingers
in a spanish key
from a tropical piano
tuned to your
warm sweet voice

comes a universal language.
two hearts meeting in the middle

your words
meet my notes
in the air like a

sonic kiss

from a tiny island in the south pacific.

for quite sometime, I've had a fascination with desert islands. quite specifically the islands created by volcanic activity deep within the earth's crust in the south pacific region of the earth. there is a remarkable romanticism and mysticism that surrounds this geographical area. perhaps it's the fact that these islands have remained silent for thousands of years. it is one of my dreams to visit this area of the earth. about a year ago I had written a piece of music that accompanied what I thought and felt the soundtrack of an ocean adventure in the polynesia would sound like.

imagery of square waveforms mimicking the sounds of the deep blue sea. the sounds of the surf and the razor silence of the sea. pirates. the wind creating a high pitched squeal as it rubbed up against the surface of the ocean almost like the static white noise of a half tuned radio station. open and free. to get lost at sea would be the ultimate waking up to selfhood.

oceania -- from a tiny island in the south pacific

unspoken

days pass us by as we're wasting precious time
so scared to try to say what's on our minds
oh and heaven knows life's too short to put on hold

i'm in love with you and you love me too
but our feelings go unspoken, yes our feelings go unspoken
while life slips away
we're too afraid, loves a dangerous game
so our feelings go unspoken, yes our feelings go unspoken
and life slips away


things sound so much different than they appear.
unspoken silent empathy