nonsense.

Sometimes I just want to not mean anything. Not in a metaphysical sense of being, but in terms of expressing myself written or verbally. There is a great deal to be conscious of when you are expressing yourself. At times, these restrictions surround you like a cage. Syntax, grammar, intonation, posture..the list goes on and the walls around you can grow thicker. When you see no way out of this cage, your first reaction is to counteract it with the opposite behavior: nonsense.

Nonsense has always been an activity I take a great deal of pleasure engaging in. It takes the pressure off of existing a certain way. Nonsense kindly and softly places you out of the confines of rule and order into a state of padded bliss. Perhaps it's an innate comfort knowing that your words and actions cannot be criticized in any other way than 'kooky' or 'bizarre'. To lash out in nonsense is the most passive form of beating you can lay on someone. It's sonic sadomasochism less the whips and chains. The restrictions of language are critically important since they keep a method of expression accessible and universal. The point of this foray into my dull grasp on linguistics is not to pay credence to order but to let chaos out of the cage for a bit and glorify it.

If we weren't raised from a young age to learn the concepts of form and function, we would be walking around aimlessly as if there were endless loops of cartoon music repeating in our heads. This is the closest I can come to telling you how I feel on a daily basis. It's a great deal of fun, but Order comes along every few hours and smacks the whip down on me hard. What I find interesting is that even in cases where there were children found who were not raised with any formal language, they still showed some form of universal grammar. This leads me to infer that there is a heavy anchor in our biological evolution that wants to express some form of order to our thoughts. Is it just seen as order because of the way we choose to see it? Probably not. It's the mental equivalent of symmetry in nature.

Symmetry is an example of nature wanting to show its part in turning chaos into order. The only difference is there is no brain or mind behind the tendency towards order on a molecular structure basis. Take a real close look at a snowflake or a leaf the next time your are outside -- would you say it borders more on the side of order or chaos in its organizational schemata? Then pick up a rock and take a look at it; it will seem a lot less more 'ordered' than the snowflake or leaf since it's order lies where the naked eye cannot peer. Order is more readily apparent in a diamond than a slab or marble. Why? Ask me later.

I can merge back on topic now that we've taken form and function outside of the human mind and viewed it from the perspective of the natural world. Grammar is the mind's manifestation of placing molecules in a specific place in order to create a stronger sense or meaning. Water can mean many things on a molecular level depending on the stimulus it is subject into. Water in a freezer will create an order as it changes state into a crystallized ice cube. Throw anger into the word 'fuck' and you will get a different reaction than if you said it as a small suggestion to your lover while having your pants down at your ankles. We make the decision on what we intend a word to mean..but who makes the decision into what state a mindless form of matter is to be?

This is where I usually draw the line as thinking about infinity can give you vertigo. We live to express some form of order, but all of life's burning answers lie in chaos. It makes sense. Everything on this planet that requires an outcome takes work. Nonsense is nature's way of telling us it's ok to be asymmetrical from time to time. It's nice to cheat every once and awhile a lose yourself (and others) in gibberish. Besides, in my life I have found people that understand my nonsense, ironically. Deep down there is always a fundamental truth to nonsense -- some people who you share a deep chemistry with can pick up those truths.