fill er' up!

We all are born deserving happiness, it is our intrinsic birthright. I think most people wouldn't have a difficult time accepting that statement as true. Regardless of how you choose to define happiness, it is a culmination of a profound number of emotions all coming together creating harmony in one singular moment or instance. How you achieve this happiness is up to you; be it in an ethical or non ethical fashion can be left for another discussion.

A constant stream of happiness is a pipe dream, but it is what many people strive for. It can also be the source of a great amount of frustration and disappointment. People fail to recognize that things exist out of dichotomies. What isn't taken into consideration is the fact that 'bad' times are necessary to make the good times roll. When the human will is battered and broken, it is like trying to see the sun shine through during heavy cloud cover. Absolute love is like the sun which is a constant. While fleeting or human love is affected by cloud cover and is imperfect in nature. Emotions can act like clouds. Sometimes the sun can shine through and fill you with love if you let it, provided you can clear the skies. It is idealistic behavior that sets us up for disappointment.

I discussed a bit about idealism in a previous entry. We often think, "this is the way it should be" not, "this is the way things are". An unwillingness to accept the state of how things are stems from grievances and is a warning sign for idealist thinking. We all put up walls because we are afraid whatever happened in the past will happen again and we will be thrown into a state of despondency. This is a vicious cycle. It keeps the love from shining through in our mind. We keep these walls up expecting others to be able to disarm them, and when they can't, we mistake that for them not being able to love us the 'right' way. We go from lover to lover, friend to friend, thinking we will find someone who will finally truly understand us.

It is common in relationships to expect the other person to instill love into you. When we feel they aren't doing this, it creates conflict. Others cannot be held responsible for the voids we find in ourselves. Relying on others to fill you up means that you are empty.

How things should be is a directly affected by every instance and moment you lived up to the point where you realized it. Here again we can easily scapegoat external influences for being at the fault of our unhappiness. Rage, anger, fear, etc. that we direct outward reflects a part of ourselves that we haven't fully dealt or come to terms with.
We tend to be attracted to people who are filled with love and naturally gravitate towards them in hopes to catch a few droplets. These are people who are at peace with themselves. Not perfect peace, but peace enough to hold them over. It is almost like money, some people have a lot, some people have very little. You should never let your heart go in debt and expect someone else to loan you some. Payback is a bitch. Wanting love and happiness puts a bad frame around your aura..Needing love on the other hand is essential and natural and it will come to you if you are all Ok within yourself. People sense internal peace like a geiger counter, they will gravitate towards you, just fill yourself up and know that you are enough.