your mind squints,
our smiles hide beneath lies
shaped by delusions
grace,
a light from within
struggles,
wheezing through our chest
towards our mouth
shining
past our teeth
and the shadows they cast
are our truth
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
composing life.
don't talk to me about composition, i've composed myself -- all twenty-eight years of it. sure, i've made a few grammatical errors on the way, a few bummed notes and i've had to try erasing a few broken hearts but only ended up making a mess smearing the colours. my decisions have been my instrument and the colours have derived from interactions within a sea of possibility I like to call chance. i've missed some chances, i've fucked up some others but life never stopped in light of those. i continue to bounce around like frequency forever refracting in darkness and light. sometimes i prefer darkness because i love the mystery of bumping into a miracle i will never be able to define. yes, the darkness is my friend because things sound better in the dark and i live for sound. most of the time i do feel like a note within a gigantic chorus of a world in which i inherently and inexplicably bump into others that i harmonize with. i've been in love three times and each love was a different interval. my first love was a sixth -- stable but uneasy. my second was a third -- pleasing to the ear but untamable and deceptive on the pythagorean level. my third was a perfect fifth - balanced and natural but far away from home (wherever that is). so i've compromised each step of the way. my friends and family, well, we are full chords and i seldom consider myself the fundamental note (since they tend to carry me). i love the sound we make because, unlike love which on the temporal level is very rapid (think 64th notes), friends are lingering and fermata-like because the distance between us never finds us yearning or awkward. i'm going to go rest, the next movement starts early tomorrow.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
the nature of a question.
why must you go?
the emotion is sadness
because i miss you
i miss you because
you made me ask why
the emotion is sadness
because i miss you
i miss you because
you made me ask why
you're broken.
be reckless
let your true self shine
you're going to want to make
a nice girl
fix you
you're broken
but that's who you are
let your true self shine
you're going to want to make
a nice girl
fix you
you're broken
but that's who you are
Wednesday, March 09, 2011
turning on.
I remember one night
where my childhood went
to sleep
and never woke up
it was in the summer
1994
i remember the floral print couch
between the ferns
the windows were open
breeze and sun were coming in
brighter than it ever does now
i woke up feeling
a weight on my chest
my eyelids lost their elasticity
a new sort of darkness
and my pores
were crying oil
like a switch
my adolescence
flicked
and a new part of me was turned on
where my childhood went
to sleep
and never woke up
it was in the summer
1994
i remember the floral print couch
between the ferns
the windows were open
breeze and sun were coming in
brighter than it ever does now
i woke up feeling
a weight on my chest
my eyelids lost their elasticity
a new sort of darkness
and my pores
were crying oil
like a switch
my adolescence
flicked
and a new part of me was turned on
Saturday, March 05, 2011
your structure.
Most people dress the part, but cannot play the part. It's easier to alter your surface structure than to change the structure of a deeper sentiment such as your personality traits. Does fashion offer an accurate representation of personality traits?
Fashion is a form of hyper representation that attempts to express the self. Along with this, it leads to a type of hyper judgment. Obviously, as social groups grew in complexity, it became increasingly difficult to know everyone on a deeper level. One of the bases upon which fashion emerged was perhaps through the need to facilitate a quick route towards finding shared characteristics and common interests among a growing number of individuals. When you step onto the subway your attention is focused on iconic stimuli such as symbols, logos, etc. Unless you engage in conversation with a stranger, the only other way to gain some type of impression of them is through how they represent themselves in an aesthetic sense.
We are increasingly becoming a culture that is 'brand' obsessed. I often find scribbles in my own notes that express things such as 'find your brand', 'make yourself into a product' -- because this is how people are taught to consume and process others. We are becoming highly dependent on representing ourselves as brands.
Do we sacrifice originality for acceptance? Or is there some type of functionality to brands we embody? UGG's -- do these straddle the side of function more than form? Who creates the semantic meaning of this brand? When we see others wearing similar brands, there is a sense of unconscious calm and safety via familiarity and identification. We might go as far to say that we share reasons for wearing the same brands. If we believe these to be sound reasons, then we project that same reasoning onto others we perceive embodying them.
Conformists don't move -- they stay safe. The outliers or 'freaks' risk exclusion at the price of having a more developed sense of individuality.
Most of us aren't who we appear to be -- fashion is just an extension of our dreams, expectations, and wishes. I recall that certain groups are represented through the colours of their shoelaces -- with considerable overlap. There is ambiguity on this level for not everyone wearing green shoelaces knows that they could represent environmentalist attitudes. Perhaps these shoelaces could also represent people who love unripened banana's!
I often think about how I represent myself and whether or not I do a sound job of it. What I conclude is that through the emergence of social complexity the need for fashion to express the self grew. It's taxing on the brain to be able to memorize so many human-like features of a nude body and rely on faces alone (visually speaking). The addition of this fashion 'surface structure' will continue to emerge and take on new forms as social complexity grows even deeper requiring even further disambiguation.
Fashion is a form of hyper representation that attempts to express the self. Along with this, it leads to a type of hyper judgment. Obviously, as social groups grew in complexity, it became increasingly difficult to know everyone on a deeper level. One of the bases upon which fashion emerged was perhaps through the need to facilitate a quick route towards finding shared characteristics and common interests among a growing number of individuals. When you step onto the subway your attention is focused on iconic stimuli such as symbols, logos, etc. Unless you engage in conversation with a stranger, the only other way to gain some type of impression of them is through how they represent themselves in an aesthetic sense.
We are increasingly becoming a culture that is 'brand' obsessed. I often find scribbles in my own notes that express things such as 'find your brand', 'make yourself into a product' -- because this is how people are taught to consume and process others. We are becoming highly dependent on representing ourselves as brands.
Do we sacrifice originality for acceptance? Or is there some type of functionality to brands we embody? UGG's -- do these straddle the side of function more than form? Who creates the semantic meaning of this brand? When we see others wearing similar brands, there is a sense of unconscious calm and safety via familiarity and identification. We might go as far to say that we share reasons for wearing the same brands. If we believe these to be sound reasons, then we project that same reasoning onto others we perceive embodying them.
Conformists don't move -- they stay safe. The outliers or 'freaks' risk exclusion at the price of having a more developed sense of individuality.
Most of us aren't who we appear to be -- fashion is just an extension of our dreams, expectations, and wishes. I recall that certain groups are represented through the colours of their shoelaces -- with considerable overlap. There is ambiguity on this level for not everyone wearing green shoelaces knows that they could represent environmentalist attitudes. Perhaps these shoelaces could also represent people who love unripened banana's!
I often think about how I represent myself and whether or not I do a sound job of it. What I conclude is that through the emergence of social complexity the need for fashion to express the self grew. It's taxing on the brain to be able to memorize so many human-like features of a nude body and rely on faces alone (visually speaking). The addition of this fashion 'surface structure' will continue to emerge and take on new forms as social complexity grows even deeper requiring even further disambiguation.