early morning

up until the early morning hours
im celebrating my time alone
connecting with inner thoughts
trying to silence my fears

i feel at peace
trying not to give creedence to the rising sun
soon, cars and people will inhabit the streets

im trying to shrink my thoughts
i know not all is me
and i do think of you
love

i catch myself thinking about
everything i should've done
drowned out by all of the things
I have to do

i still feel dizzy and anxious
i hope the world does not reject me
i really to try my hardest
--to prove i still really love this world
i have faith
no matter much i may say
i hate this place…
i dont

i get by
the only thing that can ruin my life is death
by then, i've won anyways

my guess is im afraid of the sun
because its the only employee to have never called in sick
the stunning accuracy of our solar system
makes me feel inferior

humans are made slaves to time
while the sun is one chair below
the executive position
in the cosmic office

sometimes i am afraid to think
the meaning and passion in my life
just revolves around
the movement of air
bear in mind this "sonic canvas"
is just defined by western motives
and by no means reflects and cross cultural views


i beleive in an omnipresent force
i think the bulk of us who do beleive
only beleive in "god" as a word
and not the totality of creation
i still realize all it is a monotonous routine
manifested by rituals, symbols,

i need to find something that can outlive death.

the very process of my meandering thought
its microcosm is the evolution of mankind:
the need for logic, reasoning..
the very study of our own Origins
outlines itself, within itself

im gettin caught up in the why
i think ill just retire here
and let my dreaming do the
rest