how i am seeing autumn.

The amount of techniques that you can employ to disrupt or break up a visual field are immense. These images have a deep resonance within me since I have viewed them in every stage of my life since I was born. They have remained the same but have changed at the same time throughout the years. Both paintings were done by a family friend of mine from Poland. The first one is akin to seeing the outside world from 'inside' a screen or a electronic device (notice the pixelation) The second one is an exploding tree. Each cell or pixel is made up from the entirety of the image itself. The shading of each cell is what creates the illusion of it being 'whole'.
These two pieces carry me to a mysterious and nostalgic place. This is what autumn is to me. [Self similarity and generation loss]

goodbye blue autumn.

It would be most ideal if people would feel my effects rather than experience me directly. The ego is removed from the vehicle and dispersed through the intent of where the vehicle is going and will ultimately arrive.

Go to google earth. Zoomed out, you can see the clear distinction of land and coastline. The further you zoom, the less distinction can be made from land to coastline. You go until you can no longer tell where water blends into land. This same principle works for our distinction between day and night. Where does day end and night really begin? The transformation is infinitely gradual. We know the two states exist, but what is in between those states and how to define them is the interesting mystery. The realm of human perception is extremely limited. This is what idealism evolved out of. We have no choice but to settle for a clearly defined black or white because we can't fathom the gray areas.

this darkness
despair
anger
discontent

like a fire burning inside
what is it all for?

i want to throw fire
i want to burn the frustration
to the ground

moods don't ask our permission
to come to be

not unhappy,
just trying to get outside of the brackets
in this happiness equation

cold.

my mood
changes directions
with the wind

right now
the north knows
no sympathy

i will strangle
my ego
to set myself straight

trusty armor.

Dan,

wear your trust like a bulletproof vest,
it will make you feel safe
but in the very act of wearing it
you are putting yourself
in the line of fire

you can't hunt love
without a vest

before you can get it to surrender,
you'll have to take a few hits

but always carry your trusty armor
it's your first line of defense

happy hunting,

Dave

it's always the beginning of the end.

we are all fools
running in the darkness

when everything is right
we are high on
repression & independence

like a junkie

when it's time to come down
when we are no longer
getting what we think we need

we destroy everything,
and banish those around us
who know the truth
and rebuild

to keep our pride intact
we take solace in the fact

although we have destroyed
everything around us,

there was success
in the illusion
of rebuilding ourselves again

repeat

superposition and the death of dialecticism.

I was sitting on the patio of a creperie alleging that superposition could be applied to much more than just quantum computing. As human beings, we apply theories and concepts to practicality never realizing that those theories could one day wake up in the synthesis of another doctrine. Superposition is simply that that a piece of matter can be in more than one state at once. Interesting when applied to a thought. Thoughts are a form of matter. But unlike concrete physical reality, thoughts are constantly changing shape and state. This is why there have been no satisfying answers to age old philosophical debates like free will.


We have been working in the habit of creating synthesis out of dichotomies. It has been the hallmark of most of the scientific and creative breakthroughs throughout the centuries. In philosophy, this form of inquiry is called dialecticism. In dialecticism, as you may know, you take a hypothesis and deduce it into a theses and antitheses to come to a final synthesis. What this proves is that there is resolution for two opposing ideas through strict speculation,reasoning and gathering of factual data.
Dialecticism is incongruent with the new (and some old) questions science and philosophy pose. Why do we still apply it? It's comfortable.


How could two things exist in the same space and time at once? Ask the quantum scientists. With this field of science growing more and more into a feasible reality, I believe it will not only shape the way we use computers but will also change how we look at philosophy, logic, and computational models in the cognitive sciences. It will break down most of our current methodologies of thinking. For example, let us take a look at applying superposition to moral theory. Two opposing doctrines of religion and how they can co exist together both as true. Dialecticism to me seems as good to us as unpasteurized milk. It could flush relativism down the toilet taking the pope with it in one fell swoop.


The wake of a new paradigm in thought is never met with ease. The mystery at the bottom of the rabbit hole has always been a mystery in itself. The only way to change the world is to change our thinking. Nothing is certain. But, just like natural selection, we run around with our ideas and own up to them whether they are right or wrong and whether they succeed or fail. That is progress. Progress doesn't need a brain behind the gun -- just take a look at how well the brainless DNA molecule has done in the past few millenia. How can humans peacefully co exist on this planet without having to worry about over consumption? How can we as humans balance opposing thoughts and doctrines in belief systems without imposing war? How can a 1 and a 0 exist together in the same space and time? Can homosexuals and heterosexuals live in tandem without being seen as different? Can free will and fate exist together and share the same outcomes? Without having to prove a point -- a synthesis. A synthesis only leads to more questioning. More questions lead to more time being wasted. We value time as our most precious asset, yet we don't realize how much time we waste in indecision and debate.


I hope the new grounds we break in quantum mechanics can be someday be applied to disciplines such as moral theory, environmentalism, politics, etc. We may never find that magical equation to explain the universe, but we may find a way to sustain equilibrium more efficiently by understanding there is room for more than one idea in this world. Knowing this, we could be a little more at peace.

Some informative reading:

More Info on Dialectic
Quantum Computing
A Quantum State of Mind

heaven knows i'm innocent.

i swallowed you
before i could savor
how sweet you were

it's a crime here on earth
for mortals to feast on those they love
only heaven knows we're innocent

i don't worry
because we become one
in digestion

fill er' up!

We all are born deserving happiness, it is our intrinsic birthright. I think most people wouldn't have a difficult time accepting that statement as true. Regardless of how you choose to define happiness, it is a culmination of a profound number of emotions all coming together creating harmony in one singular moment or instance. How you achieve this happiness is up to you; be it in an ethical or non ethical fashion can be left for another discussion.

A constant stream of happiness is a pipe dream, but it is what many people strive for. It can also be the source of a great amount of frustration and disappointment. People fail to recognize that things exist out of dichotomies. What isn't taken into consideration is the fact that 'bad' times are necessary to make the good times roll. When the human will is battered and broken, it is like trying to see the sun shine through during heavy cloud cover. Absolute love is like the sun which is a constant. While fleeting or human love is affected by cloud cover and is imperfect in nature. Emotions can act like clouds. Sometimes the sun can shine through and fill you with love if you let it, provided you can clear the skies. It is idealistic behavior that sets us up for disappointment.

I discussed a bit about idealism in a previous entry. We often think, "this is the way it should be" not, "this is the way things are". An unwillingness to accept the state of how things are stems from grievances and is a warning sign for idealist thinking. We all put up walls because we are afraid whatever happened in the past will happen again and we will be thrown into a state of despondency. This is a vicious cycle. It keeps the love from shining through in our mind. We keep these walls up expecting others to be able to disarm them, and when they can't, we mistake that for them not being able to love us the 'right' way. We go from lover to lover, friend to friend, thinking we will find someone who will finally truly understand us.

It is common in relationships to expect the other person to instill love into you. When we feel they aren't doing this, it creates conflict. Others cannot be held responsible for the voids we find in ourselves. Relying on others to fill you up means that you are empty.

How things should be is a directly affected by every instance and moment you lived up to the point where you realized it. Here again we can easily scapegoat external influences for being at the fault of our unhappiness. Rage, anger, fear, etc. that we direct outward reflects a part of ourselves that we haven't fully dealt or come to terms with.
We tend to be attracted to people who are filled with love and naturally gravitate towards them in hopes to catch a few droplets. These are people who are at peace with themselves. Not perfect peace, but peace enough to hold them over. It is almost like money, some people have a lot, some people have very little. You should never let your heart go in debt and expect someone else to loan you some. Payback is a bitch. Wanting love and happiness puts a bad frame around your aura..Needing love on the other hand is essential and natural and it will come to you if you are all Ok within yourself. People sense internal peace like a geiger counter, they will gravitate towards you, just fill yourself up and know that you are enough.

Wow Man.

well the night is over
you can take your bow
you made yourself so proud
you were dancing in the glory of the
wows

from all the holier than thous
i didn't even get a smile or a glance
from the Wow Man

you try so hard to be
everybody's favorite Wow Man

that you forget about me
and everything that you and i have
you're so desperate to be everybody's
favorite Wow Man

that you forget how to be
good enough for me

fool
dragging your foul mood around
much to the sound of the
jealous words your father said
and the discontent your mother
plants into your head
have turned you into a fool

close all the doors in the room
the room where you weep until noon
you'd wish the day away
cause there's nothing left to say or do
in this persistent gloom

there are times in your life
when everyone says you owe them
just shut out all the noise
look at me
you don't need to be lonesome

abandon all your tortured plans
before this love slips
through your hands

throw down your change and kiss the tip.

idealism.

While I was away, nature told me that idealism was a nightmare that we would all awaken from someday. I looked around and saw that my clothes were an idea, my flashlight was an idea..but my breathing, the grass, flowers, lake, birds..whose ideas were those?

I can discern between reality and my ideas reflecting what my perceptions tell me what reality is. It's the finest line. This hints to me that an idea isn't just limited to a neurophysiological process; ideas can exist without a conscious observer. There is a distinction between thinking and being.

Being is a process more akin to feeling. Thinking is akin to cognition. When and if you cease your thoughts, your being or self blends into the background or whatever 'existence' may be defined as. This activity is widely known as meditation or ego death. Look at existence as a sort of 'backdrop' (since being is a singular or monistic, it has to be seen as one entity) When we think, we fade back out of the backdrop and expose ourselves to the foreground. We become distinguished as individuals.

It's a difficult thing to visualize. The more cognizant you are, the stronger you exist, the more you stand out from the backdrop of existence. What ideals plague us?
That is something I will be asking people this week.

impermanence.

every breath is different
but each one keeps
you alive

there are thousands of churches
that claim the same
but each need a different key

the sun slides across the sky
the same way everyday
but the clouds
shuffle its rays
infinitesimally

changing

we are not meant to be constant
like pi

to fall in love
with impermanence

is winning
scrabble against
the almighty

another family for war. planned spontaneity.

It's about time I began thinking about my album again. All of the songs have been written and ready to go for awhile now. The most arduous process of completing this will be recording good rhythm tracks. This takes a good clear vision. I want to record the drums, bass, rhythm guitar, and piano live. I like the vibe that live interaction invites - instead of the 'pristine multi-tracked recording studio as an operating room' type of vibe. Nothing can match up to a room of musicians playing off of each other in the moment. Planned spontaneity.

During the recording of my first album, I really didn't think about process as much. I seemed to want to look past the process to envision the end result. In retrospect, I realize that was a mistake. I was trying to own what I created. It probably should have been the other way around. Haste is something you don't want reaching the sub conscious mind of a listener. People are incredibly in tune with what they hear - they just don't hear the notes and chords - I believe we can all hear the intent and purpose of an artist just by listening to how the vibe or mood of the album or collection of songs plays. It's a feeling thing, not a listening thing.

The process of recording should leave one feeling robbed, hurt, confused, enlightened, happy etc. The more emotions you go through, the more it will distill itself into the music. I think it's amazing that anyone can perceive on that type of level when they listen to music. If you miss the process and just press record, then that's what people are going to hear. If you simply love, hate, and immerse yourself into the process, I am confident people hear that in the final result. You don't have to have a trained ear to feel or pick up on the most important aspect of music -- feeling.

a rainy day.

in the spring rain
i want to meet you the whole way
because halfway isn't enough

our feet pound the wet pavement
but the puddles between us don’t keep me away from you

our hands careful not to slip
as the rain
threatens to unbind them

our grip not too loose, not too tight
but somewhere in between
..something just right

the air is wet with colour

as the sky yawns and opens up
the sunshine spots you
in the most miraculous way

a rainbow forms between us
pulls us together

time stops.
words become colours
I start to smell time
each second a new
blossoming fragrance

like colliding galaxies
two souls connected at the
speed of light

i love every colour
on this rainy day

.

in the spring rain
i met you in a whole new way


as we continue to walk on
our feet engage the pavement
in a now
almost prosodic trot

the spaces we shape, soul mining and the roots of holy moments.

Much if not all of the things we experience are ineffable. I seem to exhaust the word when I am trying to express human expression itself. When you find you have deduced your thoughts into a group of small ironies, you know you might be hot on the trail of a synthesis. Beauty and truth are found within the tensions between contrasting concepts. Nature does not like to allow realizations to occur without work taking place. The realization that to be able to live and stay conscious everyday we need to make ourselves fit to survive within a particular environment. Being 'fit' is the work we must accomplish to survive. Continually testing hypotheses through trial and error are paramount to the survival of our thoughts and more importantly to the preservation of what we believe to be True. If we stopped thinking and ceased to challenge our thoughts in this way, we would grow stagnant.

Truth is ineffable. Truth may very well be one of the fundamental seeds that carries with it the potential to grow into the ideal of total understanding. If there is anything the human mind works the hardest towards putting most of its cognitive power into, it must be truth.

The more I discover myself, then more I think I may be mentally unstable or not compatible with the status quo or mental landscape of the majority of people around me. I believe that language cannot touch the soul. The most breathtaking and perfect combination of words cannot express an ounce of the soul that we have within us. The highest caliber of poetry cannot measure up to the wonderful and mysterious beauty we carry within. Then the sane will remind you that you are living in a reality where you have to play with the cards you are dealt and that wishful thinking will get you nowhere. All we have are words so we have to use them to the best of our ability. I say down with that type of thinking. That is settling for what we have and not what we could be.

Read a poem or listen to a piece of music that gives you goosebumps -- perceive something that just resonates within you. That is a holy moment. There is something else beneath all of those words/symbols/sounds that evoke that holy moment. There is an equation beneath it all -- a divinely specific order to what we say or do that makes us feel. When you make someone cry, what you do to evoke that may be cheap but it isn't easy.

Emotion is something that we know little about. All we know is how to feel it. The way that we shape and craft these emotions we call art. We may know much about engineering, physics, economy, finance etc. but the brain behind the gun that executes all of those things -- it doesn't have a name or a face. Whatever is between now and what could be is what I think we need to better understand.

who'll give you time to cry and time to find yourself?

clarity comes
from staring
into the eyes
of someone

who can feel you
feel them

completing
the thoughts
you were too afraid
to finish

when you know. [infinite fermata]

a strong four letter word
can carry the weight of the world

when it's there
it fits like a glove

it has no maybes
or kind of

hunched over at the piano
when you're searching
to complete the last chord

and she is the final note
that completes everything

that's when you know

.

quick thoughts.

rage is danger anger
I saw it tonight
a soul lost in a fight

------------------------

it's not quiet much within me
when you are around
you don't limit me,
my thoughts seem to collect
in perfect symmetry

------------------------

this is itself
it now knows
I and self are rare

------------------------

this itch
is not hurt
it's brain pain

------------------------

taking a small ride on the thought train.

Just for the record, the last post wasn't nonsense, it was polish.

Does your mind change trains of thought very rapidly? Do you often find yourself chasing your thoughts due to their fleeting nature? I do. I convince myself that this is normal and embrace my scattered brain. The human mind isn't innately wired for multitasking. Try typing out this sentence while saying all of the provinces in Canada including their capital cities. You probably won't be very successful because they are two separate cognitive processes. If you can manage, then it will likely take you more time to do the consolidated task than each task on its own. We created computers out of our inability to coordinate several tasks at once in our mind. Computers are our prehensile task managers.

The interesting question that arose was what the difference between coordination and multitasking was. One involves a singular event and the other is more focused on a few singular events occurring at once. For example, ballet takes coordination, not necessarily multitasking. Partaking in ballet and solving equations at the same time would require multitasking. The two seem very similar in definition, but in the brain they have two totally different functions and operate on separate pathways. Multitasking and coordination coalesce when certain activities are repeated continually into muscle and memory neurons until they become perceived by the mind as one unified event. In reality these are just a culmination of tasks. The process which makes this possible is called neuroplasticity. The brain is an incredible computational device. Ballet and equations could become an olympic sport someday!

Is decision making a cascaded version of multi tasking and coordination? Perhaps emotion barks up the tree or the 'stem of the brain' and keeps the more executive processes (reason, logic) in slavery. It's all very interconnected. The primitive emotions usually dominate and are difficult to curb. Old habits die hard.

Focus dave, focus and not ford focus!

nie ma zadnej smierci w uczciwosci.

tam jest pokoj w nieuctwie
wasza smierc jest w prawdzie
wy musicie budzic z moca
w uczciwości
albo wy możecie tracic

nonsense.

Sometimes I just want to not mean anything. Not in a metaphysical sense of being, but in terms of expressing myself written or verbally. There is a great deal to be conscious of when you are expressing yourself. At times, these restrictions surround you like a cage. Syntax, grammar, intonation, posture..the list goes on and the walls around you can grow thicker. When you see no way out of this cage, your first reaction is to counteract it with the opposite behavior: nonsense.

Nonsense has always been an activity I take a great deal of pleasure engaging in. It takes the pressure off of existing a certain way. Nonsense kindly and softly places you out of the confines of rule and order into a state of padded bliss. Perhaps it's an innate comfort knowing that your words and actions cannot be criticized in any other way than 'kooky' or 'bizarre'. To lash out in nonsense is the most passive form of beating you can lay on someone. It's sonic sadomasochism less the whips and chains. The restrictions of language are critically important since they keep a method of expression accessible and universal. The point of this foray into my dull grasp on linguistics is not to pay credence to order but to let chaos out of the cage for a bit and glorify it.

If we weren't raised from a young age to learn the concepts of form and function, we would be walking around aimlessly as if there were endless loops of cartoon music repeating in our heads. This is the closest I can come to telling you how I feel on a daily basis. It's a great deal of fun, but Order comes along every few hours and smacks the whip down on me hard. What I find interesting is that even in cases where there were children found who were not raised with any formal language, they still showed some form of universal grammar. This leads me to infer that there is a heavy anchor in our biological evolution that wants to express some form of order to our thoughts. Is it just seen as order because of the way we choose to see it? Probably not. It's the mental equivalent of symmetry in nature.

Symmetry is an example of nature wanting to show its part in turning chaos into order. The only difference is there is no brain or mind behind the tendency towards order on a molecular structure basis. Take a real close look at a snowflake or a leaf the next time your are outside -- would you say it borders more on the side of order or chaos in its organizational schemata? Then pick up a rock and take a look at it; it will seem a lot less more 'ordered' than the snowflake or leaf since it's order lies where the naked eye cannot peer. Order is more readily apparent in a diamond than a slab or marble. Why? Ask me later.

I can merge back on topic now that we've taken form and function outside of the human mind and viewed it from the perspective of the natural world. Grammar is the mind's manifestation of placing molecules in a specific place in order to create a stronger sense or meaning. Water can mean many things on a molecular level depending on the stimulus it is subject into. Water in a freezer will create an order as it changes state into a crystallized ice cube. Throw anger into the word 'fuck' and you will get a different reaction than if you said it as a small suggestion to your lover while having your pants down at your ankles. We make the decision on what we intend a word to mean..but who makes the decision into what state a mindless form of matter is to be?

This is where I usually draw the line as thinking about infinity can give you vertigo. We live to express some form of order, but all of life's burning answers lie in chaos. It makes sense. Everything on this planet that requires an outcome takes work. Nonsense is nature's way of telling us it's ok to be asymmetrical from time to time. It's nice to cheat every once and awhile a lose yourself (and others) in gibberish. Besides, in my life I have found people that understand my nonsense, ironically. Deep down there is always a fundamental truth to nonsense -- some people who you share a deep chemistry with can pick up those truths.

fate is gravity felt. [lunar eclipse]

I looked up,
my eyes were pulled
towards the sky

the moon
blinked out of existence

a celestial body
taking its sabbath

I yawned for the moon




we all get our chance
to live in the shadows

sometimes it's not by choice,

fate is gravity felt
and tends to pull us

in and out
of
light
&
shadow

consciousness from the divergent perspective.

picture one grain of sand on a beach.
this grain of sand is responsible for overlooking all of the others.
each grain appears the same to the naked eye
but in reality varies greatly under the scrutiny of an eye behind a microscope.

if this one grain of sand is to be the source for all singularity -- the house of active consciousness and the soul -- then the purpose of the other grains are to be passive observers.

if we are to successfully study consciousness, how can we expect to find the answer in observing ourselves observing ourselves? if the one grain of sand is the singular ultimate observer than who is observing the observer?

consciousness really is like a set of footprints on the beach trying to retrace themselves.

it's a paradox that is difficult to overcome even when trying to employ analogies. it leads me to believe that cartesian materialism is flawed. it's highly unlikely that the processing of sensory information happens in one specific place in the brain.


instead of taking the 'one grain of sand approach', perhaps consciousness occurs more along the lines of the people who attend the beach, not the grains of sand themselves. the people who attend the beach have personal agenda's -- which could be equated with the bodies separate senses. each sense reaches the brain at different times and is therefore 'moved' or processed at different times. this means that consciousness can no longer be seen as a singularity but a culmination of sensory experiences that move along a busy highway that is constantly moving. the mazda (smell) will reach it's turn off quicker than the BMW (sight). this doesn't necessarily mean that they must share the same end point. no 'observer' has to watch over each vehicle and their destinations for events to occur.

to think about consciousness as a divergent process rather than convergent one (cartesian theatre) will do us much justice into furthering understanding it. converging sensory experiences just leads us to pigeon hole ourselves into paradox. to think about consciousness in the first place is the first step towards failure since it entails us thinking about ourselves thinking. this is the convergent rabbit hole. the fact that consciousness is a time based phenomenon, implies that every experience we had would have to end up in the same place at the same time (when the light hit the movie screen) and this is an unrealistic ideal. the divergent view implies that experiences are internalized after perception and 'merge' onto the superhighway of neurons in our brain destined for specific places (occipital, temporal, frontal centers etc.) this means that conscious experience can happen more freely within the time matrix.

the view that all brain centres must coalesce into one singular experience is a dated perspective. reductionism has led us to look for answers in the wrong places.
what we experience as the outside world lies the short end of a funnel, and at the other end, the mind receives the large end. the mind is a large canvas on it's own and is continually being splashed with existence and time is what continually clears the canvas readying it for new experiences.

Cartesian theatre.

you are in the third act
of your own tragedy

the audience is
quite dead
with emotion

they have been
since the box office
chained up and blocked off
the doors

sticky stale soda
immobilize their feet
pinning them to floor


the lights are dim,
there is a deep
crimson haze
to the drapery


gothic sound
bleeding echoes
bounce off the walls
from a haunting past lament


in this Cartesian theatre--

your mind,
don't let it become a coffin
forever immortalizing what was

.

jump off of the stage
run to the projector room
and kindly ask the homunculus

to step down
as you shout your elegy

to the last film

and give way to the new

future presentation

humanheart.

poetry is a heart imagining,

love is the silence

between the beats

while the heart sleeps

the universe is breathing.

gravity

is the word for love

for gigantic planetary bodies

falling into the soft sheets in the bed of space-time

with trust and constancy


gravity

is the word for home

in love

always finding its way back to the centre of the humanheart


the beating of the heart
the rhythm of orbits

and the respiration
in which my love
for you resides

is God gently breathing
as he works us in

tigerblood. scenes from a car accident.

blood trickled slowly out of his nose as he slowly came to

bleeding out of his nose -- a tiger

his demon. his passion.

he is now safe from it clawing at his mind

eating him raw from the inside.

cleaving.

it took this event for him to realize that grace had been hiding in his mind the entire time

a man is only as strong as his will at the darkest of moments

when he is on his knees in tears he is struggling to find God

because God may be the only one who can know 'why?'



/it is at these moments when he is close to death

that he is living the most\




grace tames the tiger.

the tiger within a man -- his Will

is a duality that must be controlled

since it's demeanor is naturally indifferent

it could strike

at any time

falls.

the falls.

i always
thought of major intersections
as analogous to waterfalls

thousands of people tumbling
coming from all different directions
streaming
different currents
side streets emptying into a large reservoir

we have learned to tame chaos
with the colors green, yellow and red

the waterfalls
shine a rainbow
--a prismatic traffic light
to tame chaos

although many master the ability to defy man made law
the greatest geniuses still struggle to defy natural law

we are all governed by one principle

gravity.

the humanheart is gravity to the individual
keeping him or her grounded
weighed down
home.

the conscience is our flotation device
at times we lose this and start to sink (drown)

it takes water filled lungs
to build a strong moral fiber to keep us float (build a strong boat)

each molecule of water
exists in its own separate unique space

but it's comprised of the very same chemical ingredients as the others
the uniqueness is born in it's intent, not it's chemical makeup
its non deterministic fate is driven by cosmic chance

instead of the pounding of water and mist over the jagged rocks
and seagulls mocking the menacing beauty of the waterfall from above,
we pound the pavement with tonnes steel and rubber
with the occasional gawk from car horns
we sit with pride behind the wheels of our vehicles
while our mist is emitted from mufflers as carbon mist

.

every time i sail out of a side street into a
thunderous intersection

i look twice
and then twice again

then i look at myself look twice

before i jump

i survive every time




.

\\\\

fail-safe.

i can
cover up the parts of me
that cut and slice

sand down the edges of
my sharp flaws
dulling only my demons

to
fail-safe
in your arms

my heart is full
knowing
i'm not painful
to hold